To Those Who’ve Watched Me Grow

I want to take a moment to acknowledge the people who have supported me, believed in me, and quietly watched my journey unfold over the years.

I’ve spent my entire life in music.

In my early years, I was too humble, too naive, and deeply unsure of myself after my cousin Vic passed away. I was grateful just to be in rooms I didn’t think I deserved to be in. I downplayed my effort. I downplayed my voice and my talent. I didn’t realize until much later that I was living with imposter syndrome long before I even knew what that was. On top of not ever having support from my family, the people who ironically inspired me to pursue music.

I worked my ass off in music with no goals, and when my hard work started to pay off, I never felt that I was worthy of anything that resembled success. Success is music accolades, album credits, money, popularity, more opportunities… I was good at sabotaging those things along my career, in an attempt to try to control my outcome, and because I subconsciously was afraid to fail and be successful at the same time.

Instead of my shortcomings breaking me or making me quit, I turned it into fuel.

For the next 15+ years, I gave everything I had to music, often at the cost of what most people consider a “normal” life. I sacrificed time with my family and friends, the idea of marriage and fatherhood, climbing up the corporate rankings, stability, finishing college, obtaining my degree, and the comfort of a clearly defined future.

I carried a deep sense of guilt for choosing an uncharted path, and because of that, I never truly felt like I belonged in music, even while successfully navigating the music industry in LA.

That void pushed me toward something else - helping others.

I projected my need for belonging into nurturing, teaching, and building opportunities for aspiring music professionals. I believed that everyone shared the same passion and hunger I did… I think this was my biggest mistake, my biggest area of ignorance. Gift & Curse.

But through my work of helping others, I helped hundreds, then thousands of creatives around the world.

Out of that desire, I built an education platform designed to give artists and producers what I never had, which was a clear, efficient path into the professional music world. I hosted hands-on classes, getting music students off the internet and into the studio. I provided immersive experiences through classes, workshops, camps & events, all inside the same recording studios I grew up in throughout LA.

My efforts were selfless. I never thought about myself. I am proud of that, more than anything I’ve accomplished as a music producer.

I fulfilled my vision. I fulfilled my duty. Mission accomplished. My job to help others was complete, but it came at the cost of me now feeling empty.

For the first time, I no longer felt the need to help others. I won’t lie, I thought I would feel and be blessed, but the past 3 years have left me feeling strange. I didn’t know what was next.

I searched for purpose again. I explored different things. I tried traveling, but I quickly realized I’d rather be at home, or in one of my studios in LA. Most of you guys were introduced to me once I stepped into the streaming world. I am proud of the messages I attempted to get across to the online music community, and the content I created. Streaming was a good temporary outlet after the effects of COVID shut down every single recording facility I used to host Monster Sessions events. But I always felt an absence while streaming, due to the lack of human connection.

I do not belong primarily online. I 100% belong in the studio.

What Do I Want To Do? I want to create more. I want to teach more of you, in-person. I want to host more events. I want to continue creating life-changing experiences and memories for a lot of you. Yes, I look forward to helping more serious, passionate music creatives.

Most importantly, and for the first time in my life, I want to be helped, heard & supported the way I showed up to help, hear & support complete strangers. Will it happen? Based on history, maybe not. But at least I know now that I will be very vocal about this, making sure I am not giving life to others at the expense of my own.

I love y’all, for real.

Thanks for reading.

- Dame